Dirty Jobs Recap: Avian Vomitologist
Marble Miner. At a massive marble quarry in the mountains of Colorado (where they quarried the marble for the Lincoln Memorial and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier), it can reach 40 below in the winter. They actually have to heat the water to keep it from freezing. The mountains used to be a part of a vast inland sea, and when the sea dried up, the fish died. The bones of the fish compacted, and the remains - the calcium carbonate - became what we know as marble (or so Mike says).
They start in a "development area", where they pull out 10-foot blocks of marble, weighing some 20 tons. These blocks are so heavy that they snap strands of steel cable like twine. After they create these openings, they can cut the really big blocks - 20 feet high by 20 feet wide and 5 feet thick, weighing about 200 tons. That's a big hunk of marble.
Owl Vomit Collector. After the big stuff, it's off to the little stuff - tiny pellets (that's the technical term) that owls regurgitate after eating. Since they can't digest bones and fur and the like, their systems pack it into little pellets, and Don goes around collecting the pellets. Once he has a bunch of them, he brings them home, sprays them with water and corn starch to harden them, wraps them in foil and ships them to schools all over, so that kids can gleefully take them apart to find out what owls have eaten (but not digested).
Cowpoke. Last, but certainly not least, Mike puts his arm into his work - literally - by palpatating cattle. Apparently you place your arm in the rectum of a cow to see if they are pregnant, and if they are, just how far along they are in the cycle. If you have cows and they aren't pregnant, they aren't making you money. I am not making this up. But that's not all, because to get pregnant, you have to collect the semen from the bull, using this device (I will not reprint the name here, it's a family blog). You can set it on automatic or manual - and "manual" means you control it from the control box, not that you do the work manually. That was one of the best lines Mike has ever had.
