Way back when (just about anything could be then, since the last time we saw anyone was nearly a year ago), Tony went to see Johnny Sack. While he was there, the Feds decided to drop in an arrest Johnny, and Tony took off in the snow, dropping his gun in the process. Some kid across the way saw this, picked up the gun, and at some indeterminate point later, turned it in, naming Tony as the owner of said gun.
Now, back in the present, Tony (and family) are awakened by incessant pounding on the door, and Tony is arrested for possession of the firearm – he even has to go to court, make bail and everything – but then the DA drops the charges and Tony thinks he’s free. But in reality, the case goes back to the Feds, who think they might be able to wrap it up into a RICO charge and nab Tony on it. So in order to lay low, Tony and Carmela head up to the lake house with Bobby and Janice (and their throng). It’s like On Golden Pond. With mobsters.
Once there, Bobby and Tony spend some time on the lake fishing, at which point Bobby gives Tony a lovely assault rifle for his birthday. I was frankly surprised that they didn’t start shooting into the water – though obviously T likes his fishing as much as the next guy (they killed Pussy on a fishing boat long ago), it’s just too serene. In the immortal words of Poison, I Want Action.
Though I didn’t get it by them opening fire on the fish in the lake, it did erupt unexpectedly over a game of – I am not making this up – Monopoly. That night, as the adults settle into a game of Monopoly, it’s just too peaceful, and Tony and Bobby get into it. Actually, Tony starts talking smack about Janice, and before long, he decides that he has to defend Janice’s honor. As if that’s not taking one for the team. I think her honor has been long gone. But for whatever reason, he stands up, faces Tony, and lays him out.
Finally, I thought, we’re going to see some blood! Alas, it is not to be. The next morning, Tony and Carmela are going to head back to the city. But not before getting in some parting shots. Tony has to let it be known that Bobby only decked him through the use of a cheap shot (hardly – it just seems to me that Bobby got the drop on him). So Tony does what any boss would do.
While on the trip, they made a business venture into Canada for some prescription pills, and in order to cement the deal, the Canadians want someone whacked. It turns out that Bobby has never done this particular task, so Tony tells them that he’ll take care of it, and gives Bobby the chore – Bobby doesn’t seem happy, but in order to not dig his hole any deeper, he does it, just like he’s supposed to. And that’s it. Sure, someone dies. But it’s no one anyone has ever heard of and it could have been so much better!
