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It turns out I have no idea how to spell “Shmalias”. Perhaps it should start with “sch”, as in the Laverne and Shirley theme song. Regardless, you should be able to figure it out. Anyway. Like many (I assume), we watched the Alias premier on Wednesday. I have to say that I was disappointed like crazy.

The latest soap opera plot was okay, but it didn’t even last the whole episode. And who didn’t see Sloan heading the new team as it was being introduced? And what’s up with the “black ops” agency that just happens to have another few dozen people working out of the same location? Surely someone in the train tunnels of LA would see someone taking the secret exit. What happens at rush hour? It would all seem to be a bit less than covert, wouldn’t it?

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Look, I appreciate that basketball is big in North Carolina. Really. But for some bizarre reason, the programming geniuses at WBTV have decided that they would show an early season (very early season) basketball game, pushing NCIS back to 2:07am (really) and The Amazing Race back to 3:07am. I am not making this up.

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Yesterday, while watching the Panthers play, they broadcast a United Way commercial. The commercial was setup like a mock draft, as if they had just draft a Panthers player – sorry don’t remember who it was. But at the end, the drafter said something to the effect of “Is that a guarantee?” and the draftee responded quite convincingly with something like “No, it’s a prediction“. I think it would have made for a better commercial if they were swapped, don’t you?

In other Panthers news, Jake Delhomme has a new spot for Bojangles where he is working the drive-through. Pretty good, though I don’t like it quite as much as the takeoff on the old Mean Joe commercial from last year, where Jake eats the poor kid’s chicken. That one made me chuckle. The new one’s just worth a grin. Still, the Bojangles creative team seems to be doing well.

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Everyone knows about the Ashlee Simpson stink. Some may be too young to remember Milli Vanilli. Now even The Donald is getting into the act. Viewers of the second season of The Apprentice should have no problem hearing his voiceovers, most obviously in the boardroom. Last night’s show had one in the scene where Trump spoke to the candidates from the “plane” that obviously had some extra work added.

Haven’t noticed yet? Pay extra attention while the camera is not focused on Trump, yet he is speaking. Close your eyes if you have to. It’s quite apparent that tracks are added after the fact. Or before the fact perhaps. Let’s just say that they are not quite live.

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We just saw an advertisement while watching Survivor – the new season of The Amazing Race starts November 16 with a two hour special. I don’t think it showed a time, so I’m not sure if it’s 8 to 10 or 9 to 11. The site shows that it’s on Tuesdays at 9, so I’d assume it will run 9 to 11, and that it will be on Tuesday for the duration.

I’ve begun realizing that even though I frequently mention how Denise and I don’t watch much TV, I sure do spend a lot of time talking about it. Seriously, though – we really don’t watch that much. She does turn it on in the morning to get ready, as she likes to watch the news. I watch the monitor instead, getting my news online. At least until she yells that something interesting is on TV and I need to come check it out.

After that, the only regular show we watch is The Amazing Race, which I’ve talked about repeatedly. That’s not to say that the TV doesn’t come on now and again to provide background (perhaps even foreground) noise, but generally it’s not something we think about. We certainly don’t seem to take any time out of our schedule, or set the VCR or any other video recording device, just to make sure we catch a show.

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Thanks again to Peter for pointing out that the rows in The Amazing Race Leaderboard represented the place in the race and not a particular team. In retrospect, it’s obvious, as surely the teams hadn’t been in those spots the whole season. But now we have another puzzle.

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Denise and I keep up with The Amazing Race quite regularly. It plays to our voyeuristic interests, we get to watch for interesting places, and it’s not just a bunch of people sitting around on an island or in a house. Until recently, I had never really checked out their web site.

When I did, I decided to take a look at the leaderboard for this season. As I looked at the leaderboard, it occurred to me that perhaps particular teams are being written off a bit early. The image below shows a chart of the race, with a vertical column for each stage and a horizontal line for each team. Click the image for a larger version with more information and details (about 120K).

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Apparently there is a new entry on the reality TV circuit. That’s right. The one you’ve been waiting for: Can YOU Be a Pornstar? Compete for a $100,000 cash prize and a one-year contract with a major adult video distributor.

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